Anyway, here's the long-awaited chapter for Days of Exile! And while I've got nothing much to talk about the chapter, let's talk about the STORY.
You see, once upon a time, when "I Want To Be A Turk!" was just a mere idea in my head, I had wonderful ideas and storylines on what I want the story to turn out to be. My plan was to write Meia's entire life, from the moment she became a Turk in 1999, to being exiled in Year 0007, to her return during the events of FF7 in Year 0008, all the way through Advent Children events in Year 0009 and possibly up to Dirge of Ceberus in Year 0012. Yeah people, we are talking about a full 13 years of Meia's life before I end the story.
The naive person that I am, seriously thought that I could finish the story within 200 chapters (glancing at the pile of files in my folder? Nope.) and I even thought I could finish this in 2012 (I started writing "I Want To Be A Turk!" in 2011). So long story short, at 63 chapters into "I Want To Be A Turk!" and 42 chapters into "Days of Exile", I came at the crossroads of my writing life.
Should I continue the way I wanted it to be?
Or should I stop?
Truth is, I have a lot of plot bunnies jumping at the back of my mind, wanting to be unleashed. However, "Days of Exile" has been taking up all my creative juices and spirit. Not that I dislike writing Meia, but I really would appreciate the change.
So I contemplated.
"Let's stick to what I've planned!"
If I continued the way I wanted it to be (all the way to Advent Children at least), I would first complete my original dream of what "I Want To Be A Turk!" was supposed to be. Furthermore, there would be a more complete ending to Meia's story in Shinra. That sense of accomplishment of doing what I started out to do would be tremendous.
The negative consequences would be that I may end up feeling so drained and so tired beating around the same things and same nonsense, and I won't deny it. My writing may not be as good, because after all, people are used to what I can come up with. I may end up delaying the updates longer and longer... until one day I pull that stunt again and just not appear on FF.net anymore.
"Let's just stop here and focus on something else."
If I end "Days of Exile" at the part after Aerith's Holy saved the Planet, technically I have finished what I wanted to write. The main bulk of my original story covers the BC, CC and FF7 events. Honestly, I don't have much planned for what Meia would do after Meteorfall. So technically, I have written my story and I am not THAT guilty. Then, I can take a break from this world and immerse myself in writing out FF7 fics. I mean, don't YOU want to know what I have in store? (Okay, let's not get excited about it... it's not THAT great a plot bunny anyway...)
The negatives. I know I have many loopholes now. I've not explained how Meia is handling her moral ambiguity, I have not answered whether Reno and Meia will end up happy, I barely made interactions between Meia and the other canon characters in the series. Neither have I finished explaining the backstories of the other Turks, nor how Randy and Heidi are going to face Meia. I can definitely say this now. I can't explain all of those so quickly. Maybe I would disappoint some of you because you were expecting something super epic. And the truth is simple, you may not know what Meia really is going to do after Meteorfall.
Sucks, doesn't it?
That was the main question in my head since December. I could not concentrate on my writing because I was so afraid of throwing ideas out that will force me to commit. Believe me, people. I really want to bring out my best to you, but I'm scared that either choice may not turn out well.
In case you're wondering and worrying for me, I've decided on my solution already... Yes, there is a route that we are going now. Just that I won't tell you yet. Sorry! I will definitely let you know when the time draws near (at least another 14-16 weeks!). So for now... let's just enjoy Chapter 42!
Nevertheless, I thank you for being with me through my rantings and doubts. Hope you have a great week ahead!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete